


Loyalty Binds Me

by WitchoftheWaste



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Drabble, F/M, Ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 15:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5053645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchoftheWaste/pseuds/WitchoftheWaste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke's internal reaction to Anders blowing up the Chantry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loyalty Binds Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dionysiaca](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dionysiaca/gifts).



> I don't normally write DA fics that ship the player character with anyone, because all of our characters are different, and you probably want to see your character, not mine, but this one isn't actually mine either. One of friends is replaying DA: II for the umpteenth time (not that I blame her!) and I was watching her talk to Anders and plot bunnies showed up and here we are. Obviously, I had to dedicate the fic to my friend, for accidentally inspiring it.
> 
> As always this fic is unbeta'd (and tiny!) so any mistakes are my own.

She had joked about it. She had actually joked about it.

He had been acting so suspicious, but why shouldn't he? He was possessed, he was weird; it was yet another thing that she loved about him. And then he had said, 'Whatever happens, I love you.' Or something like that. She couldn't remember exactly what, but it had caused a niggling pain, a cold tide of dread that swept over her and prickled in the roots of her hair. But she pushed it down firmly. He was a darling, but he was always saying how he would break her heart, how things could never end well. She understood why he said it, really she did. But after three years, those things ceased to bother her; they occupied a tiny space at the back of her mind, which she refused to acknowledge.

And so, when he had told her that he loved her, she had laughed. Oh, she had truthfully returned the words, but she had laughed at him. And so he had not told her. Maybe, just maybe, if she had not laughed...

No, she would not think of that.

She wasn't angry; she truly wasn't. She felt oddly detached. As though she was watching this from far away, as though it was a dream, and any second her dog would wake her up by jumping on the bed. There was a numbness inside her that she hadn't truly felt since her mother died.

Why hadn't he told her? She was a mage, an apostate, same as him. She had publicly stood up to Meredith any number of times. Why wasn't it enough? But that wasn't the point - no, she would have understood. True, she would have tried to talk him out of it, or suggested going for the Templar barracks at the Gallows instead, but she would have understood at least. But he hadn't told her.

He said it was because he didn't want her to be under suspicion in the aftermath. Bullshit. That wasn't the reason. She was _sure_ that wasn't the reason. You don't get someone and their friends to help you gather explosives and then tell them it was because you didn't want them to get blamed. So, _why hadn't he told her?_

Well, she would have plenty of time to ask him, because Justice was wrong. Love was more important than anything else. And she loved Anders. _Vengeance_ not Anders had fucked up. She loved Anders.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Oh, and for those of you who are interested, the title is an English translation of Richard III's motto: 'Loyalte me lie'.


End file.
